Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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