So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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