youre lurking in front of me
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
