wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
