I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize