do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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