Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My bed smells like the plague
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