My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
