As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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