maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
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She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
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Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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