I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
