wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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