I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
