Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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