does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
