he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
