Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
