dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
