I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
