You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
