was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i believe in u and ur pee
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