I need help removing her.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
