I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i dont even know how to be here
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
