I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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