omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
