he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
