I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Porn is love you can see.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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