Just took my morning after pill in the library
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
