I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
