I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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