toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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