Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
