that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Hippo gnu deer
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Randomize
