Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
