is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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