You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
