We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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