kristin has been a bad kristin
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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