Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
