if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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