He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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