What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
