worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
