I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
