some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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