The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
