YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
