It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
