Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
