Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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