Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize