I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
