We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
