apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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