If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
