i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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