we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
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Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
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do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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