Screwed.edu
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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