And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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