She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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