There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
