Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
