I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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